some steps need to be taken alone
letting go of one hand, reaching out for the next
Photo courtesy of Tim Wilson, director of “Griefwalker”
I was recently a guest on “The Empowered Spirit Show” with podcaster, author, and spiritual teacher Terri Ann Heiman. During the conversation, Terri Ann spoke about the regret she still held over not being with her mother at the time of her death. She had been tending her mother diligently but happened to be out of the room when she died. Terri Ann still wasn’t over feeling guilty that she had missed this moment. The same thing happened with both of my parents. I could hear the relief in Terri Ann’s voice as I spoke about how it seems that the dying person may actually choose to die when their loved one is out of the room.
It’s so very hard to leave our closest loved ones. For the dying one, it’s sometimes easier to find the focus and resolve on one’s own. We can accompany the dying only so far; the last steps taken to cross the threshold must be taken alone. And this means letting go of the hand we love, and trusting that another loving hand is reaching out from the other side.
Now, this is not something we plan to make happen. After all, being present at the moment of death often is a grace for all involved. But when we are attentive, we can accept that whatever happens is unfolding as needed, and maybe even see the wisdom shining through.
You can listen to our conversation on this and related topics here:
https://terriannheiman.com/death-dying-beyond-with-nancy-mcmillian
And here’s a small video clip about including our dead loved ones in our life:
News on The Call To The Far Shore:
It’s fun when I get sent pictures of people reading The Call To The Far Shore. Below is one of master woodworker Eric Peters, who has been struggling with illness for quite some time. Seeing him absorbed in the book is the best review I can hope for.
Thanks for reading!
Order The Call to the Far Shore: Carrying Our Loved Ones through Dying, Death, and Beyond through your local bookstore, Amazon, and most major booksellers.
https://www.amazon.ca/Call-Far-Shore-Carrying-through/dp/B0D9TMVNL9
The Call to the Far Shore: Carrying Our Loved Ones Through Dying, Death, and Beyond. Amazon.com
Audiobook now available: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Call-to-the-Far-Shore/Nancy-MacMillan/9781797187204
